1 King David Street

Holon

November 3, 2012

The Editor

"Maariv"

2 King Solomon Street

Tel Aviv

Dear Editor,

I have recently read the letter of Jeffrey Hartmann about the article "Righting a Wrong" and I'd like to reply it. The writer thinks that discrimination against women is outdated and groundless. I agree with his opinion and I'd like to give it my own view.

In the past men were managing the world while women were responsible for raising the children. It was accepted because everyone believed that men are superior to women in all aspects. Today, however, women are equal to men in most aspects and even superior in some. Therefore, women shouldn't be prevented from filling in jobs which were only for men in the past.

In addition, discrimination of any kind is against the law. Nowadays, most countries believe in equality for all the people in the country and enact laws to promise the equality between the residents. I am quite far from being an activist for women rights, but as a rational man, who believes in equality, I think that women should get all the rights which men get.

To conclude, this is disappointing that there are people with an old fashion attitude for women. I recommend those people to read some books on the subject of women rights and explore the subject. Then they may get a rational view about the subject and act accordingly. Discrimination on the basis of gender is a negative phenomenon which should be denounced of the modern society.

Sincerely yours,

Yoav Levi.

I'm sorry to say, that in addition to not very great phrasing, you totally missed the point of the letter you were supposed to relate to in this task. Read it again and rewrite your letter to the editor today. I can't grade your work as it is now.
Daphna

What about a proper title?

Option 1:

Who, among us, has never dreamed of himself doing something big alone? I once dreamed (of) myself as a manager of a big company, which works to prevent racism. In the dream I succeeded and the world was free from(ww.) racism thanks to me. But that was (a) dream.  In real life an individual can make minor changes, but he can't make meaningful changes by himself.

In my opinion, the individual in the society can't make a difference because (of) the following reasons. First, an individual needs assistance. In order to make a big change people prefer to work in groups than work by themselves. For example, people who want to make a change usually join political parties or existing groups rather than create their own group. I think that assistance from other people is necessary to make a difference.

In addition, the effect that the individual has on its society is small. To make a difference or a change in the society you have to convince people to believe in what you believe. I think that one person, as charismatic as he is, can't affect the whole society by himself. The society is usually affected by the media and formal associations, and isn't affected by an individual. However, I think that an individual can convince his local environment to believe in what he believes.

To conclude, an individual can't make a difference which is (what?) all by him, but he can make it in different ways. An individual can join formal groups and influence the society(ww.) within the groups. Moreover, an individual can create a group which can make a difference in the society, just like in my dream.

Excellent work and so interesting!
(94)
Daphna

When children grow up and turn into teenagers they naturally ask for more independency(ww.-independence). They want to go out to different places, stay away from home and many more(ww.- have other) requests. Parents, on the other hand, don't always agree to all(ww.-everything) their children want. From this point of disagreement between children and parents the way to an argument is very short. No one likes to argue, so why does in(ww.) happening(gr.)?

I think it happens because of the generation gap between the parents and the teenagers. Nowadays, teenagers go out all the time, unlike their parents who tended to stay home when they were young. This generation gap causes misunderstandings and confusion between teenagers and parents. For example, my relationship with my parents suffers from this generation gap, too, especially when I ask to go out on Friday nights.

In addition, arguments between teenagers and their parents may happen because the parents are too concerned about their children. Parents always try to protect their children. However, sometimes they are worried without a reason and it makes their children frustrated. This is exactly what happens with my parents. When I ask to go out sometimes they say, "This place isn't for children your age" while I know there are children  my age, who go to those places.

To conclude, arguments between parents and teenagers are a known phenomenon, which almost every teenager has experienced. I think that the arguments can be prevented by making an organized list of things the teenagers are allowed to do and things they aren't allowed. In worse cases I recommend the family to see a psychologist.

Better.

(94)

Daphna

 There are many different ways to do sports. You can jump, run, kick, throw and swim. All the mentioned activities are divided into two different groups: team sports and individual sports. Usually team sports, like football and basketball, are the more popular and individual sports, like tennis and marathon running, are the more prestigious ones, therefore different people prefer different sports.- Very good opening!

In my opinion, individual sports are superior to team sports, because when you do some kind of sport alone, all the  responsibility is yours and there is no one who can let you down and hamper your chances to win. As a result of that, I think that naturally, individual athletes are more responsible for their lives than athletes who play in a group since they are used to cope(gr.-coping) with pressure alone. For example, there are many footballers who are in financial difficulties although they earn millions of dollars, because they aren't responsible for their personal life.

In addition, individual sports are more exhausting than team sports. This makes them more dramatic and more interesting to watch. I think that watching one person struggling so hard to achieve his aim makes individual sports interesting and thrilling. For example, a tennis player who tries to hit the ball back to his opponent and activates a lot of muscles in this strike is a very dramatic scene to watch. On the other hand, in team sports the effort of the game is divided between all the members of the team.

In conclusion, I prefer individual sports rather than team sports because they teach responsibility and are more dramatic. Nevertheless, I love both kinds of sports and recommend to everyone who can, to engage in sports on a regular basis, either individual sports or team sports.

Excellent!.

(100)

Daphna

what you shold have to succeed

Everybody wants to succeed in life, but what makes you a success or a failure? A  successful person has is(מיותר) a collection of many characteristics which makes either you or your(ww.) environment satisfied and happy. All the characteristics are important, however, in my opinion, there are two characteristics which are the most important: loving what you do and loyalty.

When we were asked as children "what will you do when you grow up?" everyone answered the profession he liked the most. As grown ups we usually like other things than we liked as children, but the main idea is identical in both cases: we should love what we do. People tend to work in professions they find interesting and challenging, in order to be satisfied. In addition, it makes sense that people work in something they love.

In my opinion, loyalty is the difference between success and failure. In order to succeed you usually have to undergo a long process which requires you to be serious and committed. For example, a young footballer has to be serious and committed to be a good grown up footballer. Moreover, loyalty is needed not only for professional success, but for personal success, too. For example, loyalty between you and your partner is needed for the success of the relationship.

In conclusion, success is defined by you and your environment, however in both cases there are many characteristics you should have. I think that loving what you do and loyalty are the basis, all other characteristics are less important.

Good work.

(93)

Daphna

Facing A Dilemma

A dilemma is a big problem, which has some influence on the person's life. When you are facing a dilemma you should consider all the options and think seriously about each option's consequences. I had to face a dilemma myself in(ww.-at) the beginning of the last school year.

I started the 10^th grade in a class (in) which I could learn programming and technology, subjects I find very interesting. However, the atmosphere in(ww.-during) the lessons was horrible. Therefore, I thought about moving to another class. I consulted with my friends, my parents, my big brothers and my teachers. I had to consider the subjects I wanted to study and the atmosphere in the class.

Finally, I came to a conclusion that I can(gr.-couldn't) study in a class which(ww.-where) studying is(gr.) impossible and decided to move to another class. Looking back, I don’t regret the decision I made because in my new class I met new friends and still can study some of the subjects I (have) wanted to learn.

If I had made a different choice I think that I would focus(gr.-have focused) my energies on trying to study something I like without succeeding, because of the bad atmosphere. The result would have been good, but the process would be(gr.-have been) tiring and not much fun. Facing a dilemma can be very disturbing, however, some time later it is satisfying to know that you had made the right decision.

Better. Well done!
(88)

Daphna

There was a problem with uploading the task as a blog so here is a link for downloading the task.
http://www.upf.co.il/file/377847889.html

I checked you work. Your grade is 93. I sent your work to your mail: omrizohar1995@gmail.com